Monthly Archives: November 2008

Little queer pleases a cute bear with some footjob

Between the Bars Pt. 07

Chapter 30



The chair was so hard. I shifted and pulled my feet up under me wrapping my arms around myself for warmth. Cold in here too. As soon as I d gotten to the station in the back of the patrol car they took me to this interrogation room and walked out. I d been sitting here alternately pacing and trying to get comfortable in the hard metal chair for so long I d lost track of time. Even if I d been wearing a watch they would ve taken it from me like they took all of my personal belongings before they brought me in here.



I knew the big mirror across one wall was one-way glass. I d given up pressing my face to it and shielding the glare with my hands in an attempt to see out. I d watched enough TV to know that they should have taken me to booking to charge and fingerprint me or come in the room and questioned me but nobody came. Nothing happened at all. No phone call no nothing. I just sat and waited and waited in the blank little room.



I couldn t wait anymore. I closed my eyes and let my mind disconnect the way I did when I was small before I moved in with my grandparents and bad things would happen that I either didn t want to or couldn t think about. I must ve sat there for a very long time keeping my mind blank so I wouldn t go insane with frustration and worry about Daniel lying in a hospital bed somewhere broken and bleeding and alone. When the buzzer sounded I looked up wearily. No use hoping. They were never going to let me out I was going to be here forever.



Kennedy. You re out.



But I don t understand they never even questioned me.



The cop stared at me like I was total idiot. You gonna stand around asking questions or get the fuck out of here?



I got up immediately and stepped out into the hall. The door thunked shut behind me. Counsel s here the cop said over his shoulder.



A lawyer? But I don t have a lawyer I never even got to make a phone call.



Tell her yourself. He pointed at a petite very pretty lady in her twenties with long dark hair wearing a gray suit and black high heels. She walked up to me and stuck out her hand for me to shake which I did confused. The cop walked away and left us standing there in the hallway



Rylan I m Ariella Frieden. It s good to meet you. The Chicago Sun-Times sent me over to get you out of here.



I blinked confused by it all. Uh am I under arrest?



No charges have been filed against you at this time. Pending investigation you re free to go. Come on let s go down to processing and get your personal items and get you out of here. She bustled off down the hallway and I had no choice but to follow her.



Pending investigation? Does that mean I could be arrested later? I asked.



I don t have an answer to that. Because this is an... internal matter the police are not answering my questions regarding the case.



They never arraigned me or anything they just held me are they allowed to do that?



As long as it s for less than twenty-four hours yes. That s why the Times sent me over here to make sure they didn t hold you illegally. Here.



She opened a gray metal door and pointed me inside. The bored lady at the counter not a cop but a step up from a crossing guard processed me out and handed back everything I had on my person at the time I was arrested except Daniel s handgun. I didn t ask about it but I was sure it was being held as evidence. When I came out of processing through another door Kat leaped into my arms with Alex right behind her. They both looked exhausted but Kat had managed to change out of her pajamas and into business attire and put on some makeup.



Rylan thank god. I ve been worried sick.



How s Daniel? I asked immediately. Is he okay? When I hugged Alex I felt myself sag against him a bit. He was so solid and reassuring and I hadn t realized how fucking tired I was. I didn t understand any of this. Between the time I was arrested and the time I was released somebody decided I didn t do anything wrong and they just let me go.



Yes he s out of surgery now and doing pretty well Kat answered. They ve got him down at Cook County Hospital and their trauma center is excellent.



I need to see him.



They ve got him under security so you can t see him right now. She took my hand and started escorting me toward the door with Alex behind me at a close protective distance. Ariella followed along murmuring into a tiny silver cell phone. Come on let s get you back to my apartment so you can get cleaned up and prepare your statement for the press conference we ve got set up.



Whoa. Wait a minute. I dug my heels in and stopped. I m not giving a press conference.



But Rylan the story broke. It s all over the news what you and Daniel did. You brought down a whole ring of corrupt cops from all over the country. The public wants to hear from you. You re a hero. She beamed clearly enjoying all this and the role she had played in it. This bit of investigation journalism was going to make her a very important part of the Sun-Times staff.



I shook my head. I m not a hero and I m not your trained monkey Kat. No statements and no press. I want to go to the hospital and be with Daniel and if they won t let me see him I ll wait there until they do.



Kat huffed a breath but she considered me for a moment or two and then finally nodded reluctantly. She knew me well enough to know she wasn t getting anywhere. Okay. You re right. Now isn t the time. We ll go down and try to get you in to see Daniel. Before that though we really should take you back to my place so you can clean up. You don t want Daniel to see you like this.



She took my wrists and showed me the blood that had seeped onto the my coat and soaked into my sleeves. I hadn t even realized I was covered in Daniel s blood. It was a far cry from him eating dinner with my family in a shirt splattered with my cum. I nodded and let her lead me down the hallway marked Exit.



The paper wants me to do a front-page exclusive for tomorrow s edition so I need a written statement Kat went on relentlessly. I need to know the sequence of events the best you can remember. Who shot Daniel?



The image of him bleeding onto the snow was branded into the back of my eyelids. It would never go away.



Sgt. Adkins.



And you shot him? She gave me a piercing look like she wasn t completely convinced I was capable of such a thing. I shrugged. I didn t consider it an act of heroism. I did it because I had to because I d do anything for Daniel.



The hall ended. Alex who was slightly ahead of us pushed open the police station s front door. He stepped back inside with a shocked look on his face and pulled it closed blocking the door with his big frame.



What is it? Kat asked.



The press is out there Alex answered eyes darting to my face. All the local stations and even the networks.



I didn t miss Kat s guilty little start. Damn her. Business suit and makeup all right. Ariella stepped outside the door and announced to all the microphones that I had no comment. Alex and I stayed just inside the door while Kat went outside and brought her SUV around although at first she wanted Alex to do it until I pointed out that Alex could shield me a lot better than she could. It s not that I blamed her for wanting national exposure on her story and for her face to be on the news as the intrepid reporter who broke the story but even if she was my friend using this for a media opportunity really pissed me off when Daniel was lying in the hospital alone. I didn t have time for this shit I had to get to him.



Pushing through a throng of reporters shielded by Alex s big body having microphones shoved in my face and questions shouted at me isn t an experience I want to repeat. I hated being the center of attention anyway but especially because I knew I was no hero. All I did was help. Daniel was the real hero. He stayed dedicated even when nobody believed him when the whole world was against him. This case was big it involved a lot of important people and it was going to be on all the national news stations. The glory if he wanted it belonged to Daniel and if he didn t want it I d do anything I could to keep the attention away from him.



Back at Kat s place Alex handed me a neatly folded stack of clothes from the couch. Cargo pants a t-shirt and a heavy navy-blue button-down. I assumed they were his but he grinned at my obvious doubt.



They re my brother s. They might be a little big but not like mine. It s all we could get.



I m sure they ll be fine. Thanks for thinking of it. I paused in my own drama long enough to glance up at Alex s shy eyes his little-boyish face hidden in the scraggly beard. I smiled at him and he blushed. I owed him so much. I knew he had feelings for Daniel that he fully realized could never turn into anything but instead of resenting me for getting in the way he unselfishly did everything to help us for no other reason than he could. He was in a position to help us and he did and that was a rare thing. His loyalty awed me humbled me. His blush told me any kind of praise or thanks would embarrass him more than he could stand I could relate to that so I just reached up and gave his thick shoulder a little squeeze.



Hey. Kat shoved in briskly and broke up our moment by handing me a plastic grocery bag. Here put the bloody clothes in this and I ll have them incinerated. You re going to get an HIV test right?



Blankly I looked down at the rusty stains of Daniel s blood under my fingernails. We d been so careful in the farmhouse. He d assured me there was no reason to worry and I believed him but even so he never took the chance. Now protecting each other from what might be in us was totally beside the point. Direct contact with his blood sure there were risks but I didn t freak. I felt only peace because whatever happened I knew it would be okay.



Yeah I said because Kat was waiting for an answer.



Good. She kept staring at me. And a follow-up in six weeks. Daniel will insist on it himself. It s police procedure with any direct fluid contact.



Fluid contact. The dripping blood and the spurt of cum and cold panic sweat were all condensed into two clinical words. It was ironic really all the frustration we d had stranded at the farmhouse trying to avoid fluid contact only to end up with this happening. In the shower I washed it all off under the hot water. I didn t want Daniel to see it because I knew he d be concerned just like Kat said. He d stop focusing on his own recovery to worry about me and I didn t want that. I didn t want Daniel to think about anything but getting better. I hoped they were giving him great drugs so he wasn t hurting. I made myself not picture him lying in a hospital bed suffering.



I d researched ballistics and gunshot wounds extensively for a couple of my novels so although my knowledge was specialized in antique weapons I knew enough to know that a shattered shoulder hurt like hell but it wasn t life-threatening. Medical treatment was swift enough that shock was not a danger but if the aim had been better or the ambulances just a little slower... My knees went weak and I had to grab the counter as it hit me full-force. He could have died. Just like Scott like Ray like the officer in the video. Just a few inches to the left and he d be gone. He could have died and then what would I have done? My life wouldn t have changed on the outside I would ve gone back to Atlanta and fallen right back into my rut like none of this ever happened like Daniel never even existed. He was so important to me after such a short time I d never felt this way and the intensity of my need to be with him scared the hell out of me but I didn t care. I jerked my clothes on and charged out of the bathroom demanding we had to go.



Shit. As Kat pulled into one of the parking areas I stared in dismay at the Cook County Hospital complex that sprawled out over six or seven city blocks How are we ever going to find him in there?



He s in Tower C of the main building room 515 Alex answered watching the signs out the window. It s that way Kat. Make a left.



Wait how do you know that?



While you were in the shower I got into their system and took a peek at their patient list. Alex shrugged.



I lifted an eyebrow. Well if he could download encrypted files off the Chicago Police Department s internal network confidential patient files should be no big deal. Oh. Well... good job then.



If he s under guard it s not going to be easy to get to him even when we do find him Kat said in the parking garage elevator. He s not a prisoner now but he s under protective custody at the hospital and that means there s a list of people who can see him... and I doubt you re on it. An FBI agent named Jensen has taken over the case. He s the one who came into the surgery waiting room and told Alex and me that Daniel made it through surgery okay and we had to leave. If he s there we ll never be able to get you in.



I ll get in. I shrugged. I wasn t leaving until I did it was that simple. Kat and Alex looked at each other and I pretended not to notice. The creaky old elevator bumped and lurched up to the fifth floor. Alex gripped the rail until his knuckles turned white glancing up nervously until the thing lurched to a stop. When the door slid open he almost fell out and I grabbed his arm and held him until he got steady just the way he held Daniel and me up.



Okay. Daniel s room is down the hall. It ll be easy to find because it ll have an armed guard. She grinned. She loved shit like this. I on the other hand eyed the nurses station with trepidation. She was going to get us kicked out and I d never get to see Daniel. I tilted my head in the direction of the nurses at the counter in their scrubs talking and laughing with each other in front of their computer screens.



But how are we going to get past them? Do you have a plan or anything?



Let s just try the forceful approach first. Kat lifted her eyebrow at me and grinned. Let s go boys. All you have to do is follow along.



****





Chapter 31



Sorry you re not on the list.



You didn t even look at the list bitch. I wanted to scream in frustration but I knew that would only get us kicked out. I took a deep breath while Kat put on her most winning smile. The cop was a tiny sour-faced woman who barely even looked big enough to handle a weapon let alone apprehend a suspect. Probably a desk jockey. She didn t even give Kat a glance. Kat was one charming dyke so the cop was clearly straight and from the way she looked at me she was not inclined to be sympathetic to gays either. There was no way she didn t know who I was and why I wanted to see Daniel so badly.



The door was cracked slightly and I could see the end of the bed and the shape of Daniel s feet under white covers but no matter how I twisted and turned the corner of the wall obscured his the rest of him. I longed to see his face. He was so close I could almost touch him and it killed me not to be able to get to him.



Yes I know Officer but I m Kat Grissom with the Chicago Sun-Times and this is Rylan Kennedy a close friend of the patient. You may have heard about him on the news. He isn t a danger to Detective Braden he only wants to see him he s involved with the case and he was on the scene when the shooting occurred and even protected --



The lady cop looked at me like I was dirt on her shoes and sneered at Kat. I don t care who you any of you are. If you re not on the list you re not going in.



Through the cracked door I saw Daniel s legs shift. Kat s eyes got that icy-hard gleam and I knew she was about to make hellfire rain down on this woman so I gently took her arm just as she was opening her mouth. I had to get to Daniel and pissing this bitch off wasn t the way to do it.



Kat leave it alone I said softly. Come on.



She gave me a rebellious scowl but she went with me down the fluorescent corridor to the little waiting area where Alex was squashed into a hard plastic chair. The nurses station was directly across and I wanted to avoid their notice at all costs. One call to security was all it would take.



Cunt.



Yeah but that cunt s gonna have us thrown out of here and maybe even arrested if you don t settle down. I sat her down in a chair and paced around while she fumed. Think think. Obviously the forceful approach wasn t going to work and it was time to move on to plan B. I interrupted Kat s mumbled rant about calling her boss and the police commissioner.



Listen. I think it might be best if you and Alex leave. Three people multiply the problems. If it s just me I can figure out a way to slip in.



No wait she protested immediately. If my editor-in-chief can make some calls to the right people and...



Kat Alex interrupted in his quiet mumble. It was so rare for him to speak on his own accord we both stared at him in surprise. He blushed slightly as he went on. Rylan s right he ll do better on his own. We re in the way. Let s go.



But but wait Kat protested and sputtered but Alex bodily pulled her out of the chair so she gave in with bad grace. You have my number don t you? You ll call me if anything happens and you need me right? Or if anything develops I need to know about? she called as Alex dragged her to the elevator. I nodded and waved as they disappeared behind the sliding doors. I knew why she didn t want to leave. She was concerned about me yes but she what she wanted was an exclusive. Shaking my head I went over and sat down in the waiting area to think over my next move.



My body ached from hours cramped up in the interrogation room so after awhile I got up and started wandering. I tried to stay away from Daniel s door I didn t want the cop to get suspicious because I kept appearing and have me thrown out but I couldn t seem to resist the draw of seeing even his feet. As I walked past trying to stay invisible I noticed one of the nurses coming out of Daniel s room passing the guard. I d noticed her at the nurses station earlier. She was very pretty tall with shoulder-length brown hair and a kind radiant smile. Somehow I felt immediately drawn to her. This might just be someone who could be convinced to help me.



I went back to the waiting area. The nurses glanced at me from time to time but none of them questioned me. Quietly I watched the pretty nurse. She smiled a lot both at her fellow nurses and the aides and janitorial staff who passed through and at the visitors to other patients on the floor. I was more and more convinced that my initial feeling about her was right on.



Patiently I waited until she went on rounds again. When she stepped out of Daniel s door I was waiting down the hallway just out of sight of the guard. She looked a little startled when I approached her but she smiled and asked if I needed something. I noticed her on ID badge that her name was Jennifer.



Daniel Braden. You just saw him. How is he? Is he okay?



I m sorry sir but because of federal privacy laws I can t give out that information to anyone who isn t a family member she said kindly. Are you a relative?



No. I m... I decided to go for it. He s my lover. I m worried about him and I just need to know he s okay.



Jennifer gave me a closer look and realization began to dawn. Hey did I read about you on the internet? How you saved his life?



Yes yes that s me. I nodded eagerly. She shook my hand beaming.



What you did was so romantic she told me. You went rushing after him and you re not even a cop.



Bingo!



No I m a writer actually. My name s Rylan Kennedy.

Your name s Rylan? He was asking for you when they brought him out of surgery.



He was? My heart beat a wild tattoo in my chest but then clutched with doubt. Are you sure he didn t ask for Ray? He calls me Ry sometimes and that could sound like Ray.



No he distinctly said Rylan. He kept asking where you were.



When I caught my breath she smiled at me even more and I knew my gut had not let me down. Then you know why I have to get past that guard don t you? They won t let me in to see him but he needs me. I need to be with him.



Yes you do. She glanced out of the corner of her eyes in the direction of Daniel s door and the guard and then she nodded as if making an important decision. We re going to get you past that bitch. He got agitated when they said you weren t here and he needs to be calm so he doesn t aggravate his injury. They had to sedate him. He s stable medicated and doing well after his surgery but I know he ll be much better with you there.



As she talked she led me down the hallway to a room around the corner. It was empty with faint light coming from behind the drawn blinds. Okay. Stay in here. That guard has already seen your face so we re going to have to wait for a shift change. It shouldn t be too long the shifts are only four hours. I ll be back.



Closing the door behind her she left me in the dim room. I clicked on a lamp and relaxed on one of the beds. My nerves were wound just as tightly as in the interrogation room at the police station but at least the seating was more comfortable and I could rest as much as I could not being with Daniel. It was probably about an hour before the door opened and Jennifer slipped back inside.



Here put this on. She tossed me a patient gown. The door opened wider and a big mountain of a man shuffled in with a gurney. His black skin was a startling contrast to the white polyester of his orderly s uniform. I stripped off my button-down since I knew it would show under the patient gown with just a t-shirt it looked fine. I ll take care of the guard. Ben will stop in front of Daniel s door and you just slip off the gurney and into the room.



I hopped up on the gurney as the door clicked behind her. Carefully Ben arranged the covers over me to hide my street clothes only letting the patient gown peek out at the top. I closed my eyes and lay very still as he wheeled me out the door and down the hallway. He plodded slowly too slow dammit hurry up.



Officer? I hate to bother you... I heard Jennifer s voice and I slitted my eyes just enough to see that the grouchy female cop had been replaced by a handsome young recruit very tasty in his dark uniform and buzz haircut. I hid a grin. So that was why she d waited for a shift change. Her soft sweet tone wouldn t have worked on the bitch. I had to admire how she managed to sound slightly helpless without crossing the line into bimbo. I know you re working but they just brought some new oxygen tanks up here and I just can t get the handle turned. It s so hard that first time. Do you think I could borrow your muscles for just one little second?



Sure the cop s voice answered eagerly. So easy.



Their voices faded down the hall and I tensed in anticipation. The gurney slowed and when I heard Ben mutter Go I tossed the covers back jumped off the gurney and pushed the door open. I clicked it closed silently. Maybe the guard wouldn t notice and it would give me a couple of extra seconds with Daniel before they tried to throw me out.



My heart jumped in my chest when I stepped into the room and got my first look at him lying there on the hospital bed. His face was pale against the pillow so pale. He looked so helpless draped in a hospital gown so pale and weak. His eyes were closed and bandages swathed his shoulder binding his arm to his body. A faint dark stain marred the white bandage where his blood had seeped through. An IV dripped something down a clear tube. For a moment I couldn t breathe and then I closed the distance between us. I went to the left side of the bed his uninjured side and gently took his hand from where it lay on the blanket the IV tube taped to his wrist along with a hospital bracelet.



Daniel?



Blearily he opened his eyes. Whatever was dripping down the tube into his arm was strong and I was grateful because that meant he wasn t hurting. A slow heartbreakingly little-boyish smile tugged at the corners of his lips when he saw me. His fingers curled around mine.



Hey. It was obviously an effort for him to speak through the haze of drugs and his eyes drooped as I reached up and cupped his jaw stroking his cheek with my thumb. It was cool and rough with stubble. I could see faint rusty splotches on his skin where dried blood hadn t been completely washed away. The hospital staff had more important things to do. I d wipe him down in a minute but right now I just wanted to be near him. I couldn t hold him like I wanted to because of his wound I didn t want to hurt him so I just held his hand gazing at his face with my heart pounding in relief just to be with him.



God I m glad to see you I said softly. I had no idea if he could hear me or if he was deep in a drugged stupor but the words had to come out even if I was the only one who heard them. All I could think about sitting at the police station was you how I can t stand to think of my life without you. I would ve climbed the walls to get to you. When I saw you fall to the ground after Adkins shot you a little piece of me died and it s been dead until now looking at you...



The lump in my throat choked off my words and I had to blink my eyes to keep the tears back. I was like someone who d been asleep for years and years. I was finally waking up and all this emotion was flooding me and I didn t quite know how to deal with it. Part of me wanted to withdraw safely back into my shell and lock myself away so I wouldn t have to feel this way but the other part of me reached between the bars of the prison of indifference I d locked myself in for so long. My heart wouldn t let me push Daniel away even if I wanted to.



His eyes fluttered open and he looked up at me with that faint glimmer of a smile. He tried to speak but the effects of the drugs were too strong to let him form words and a second later his head dropped back and he was asleep again. But he heard me.



The new guard outside the door either didn t know the door should be cracked or he never looked at it. I d expected him to burst in any minute calling security but he didn t. I sat there on the edge of Daniel s bed holding his hand while he faded in and out of his painkiller-induced stupor for at least an hour when the door finally opened. When I looked up a short little Indian man in a doctor s jacket came in followed by a tall man in a suit with an air of authority. I had a feeling this was FBI Agent Jensen the man in charge of this operation. I met their eyes defiantly when they stared at me in obvious shock to see me here.



The FBI guy looked pissed. How d you get in here?



I shrugged. I was certain he knew exactly who I was. I m very resourceful when I need to be.



Jensen turned to the door and spoke to the guard who was hovering in the doorway looking baffled and alarmed that someone had gotten past him. Call security.



No Daniel said clearly. We all turned our heads and looked at him. He still looked dazed but he was much more alert than he d been since I walked in the room. He held my hand tightly as he stared down the FBI agent with a trace of his usual self-assurance. Rylan s not leaving. I wouldn t be here without him. He stays.



This is a police matter and he s a civilian. He ll only get the in the way and disturb you.



Actually patients recover better with a loved one for support the doctor said in his musical Indian accent. He turned to me and shook my hand. Dr. Salman Advani. I know you from the news.



I introduced myself and he nodded smiling with recognition. Thanks to Kat and CNN I was a fucking celebrity. He approached Daniel s bed and I got up and moved to the window sitting down on the ledge while the doctor examined Daniel. I watched anxiously with Jensen glaring at me the whole time. I could tell Daniel was struggling to stay alert amidst the drugs but he did manage to ask the doctor exactly how badly he was injured. I listened carefully so if Daniel forgot something I could explain it later when he was more coherent.



The bullet entered your shoulder just below the rotator cuff slightly above the armpit. Dr. Advani gently touched the wound to show both of us where it was he waited until I d come closer to the bed to watch before he continued. The bullet was hollow-point as you know they re designed to expand when they hit bone. It shattered the scapula and caused a large flesh wound both at entry and exit points. We gave you two pints of blood down in the ER but blood loss and shock were minimized by immediate emergency response. You re very lucky Detective. You could have died from this wound.



My knees almost gave way and I felt my stomach turn when he said that but I managed to pull myself together for Daniel s sake. If I let myself I d probably pass right out.



Your right arm will have to be completely immobilized for at least six weeks until the fractures mend Dr. Advani said. There will be considerable pain and you might never regain full use of the arm. It s possible you won t be capable of handling a weapon after you recover.



Daniel s eyes darted to mine over the doctor s balding head. We both knew what that meant - the doctor was telling Daniel his career as a police officer was over. I couldn t say I was sorry to hear it but I tried to look sad for Daniel s sake. After all this was his career his life s work. I d be devastated if a doctor told me I could never write again. Of course as zonked as he was on morphine or Demerol or whatever was dripping into his arm he might not even remember this conversation anyway and we d have to break the news to him again.



You re doing okay for now. The doctor looked down at Daniel and spoke loudly because he saw that Daniel was fading out again. If you hurt call the nurse. Okay?



Nod your head Daniel I added.



He nodded slowly and then his eyelids drooped. The doctor shook my hand again and departed leaving me behind with one drugged-up patient and one very displeased FBI agent.



I could have you arrested for sneaking in here.



Returning to my spot on the edge of the bed I picked up Daniel s hand and stared at the agent s smug scowling face. He could fuck off.



Since you re here he said ungraciously we ll need to get a full statement from you. When he wakes up he ll have to give us one too. We need to know everything that happened this morning.



Sergeant Adkins. The guy I shot. He s alive right?



Yes he s alive. You either fucked up or you re a good shot - for a civilian.



I didn t fuck up. If I killed him I killed everything he knows.



Agent Jensen nodded slowly still frowning at me. Shattered ribs collapsed lung on a respirator but expected to make a full recovery. He ll be feeling fine by the time they send him to death row.



I nodded with grim satisfaction. I d always considered the death penalty a seriously flawed aspect of our judicial system but I wanted Adkins to pay for the lives he d taken and the lives he d ruined and all for what? Greed pure and simple. My part in this was small very small. I d make whatever statements and do whatever court appearances I needed to and I d support Daniel in everything he had to do but when that was over I d watch with interest to see just how high up this corruption went and how many lives it touched. Adkins himself had to be just a player in the game. Somewhere someone rich and powerful and important was pulling the strings. The nation waited anxiously to see who it was to see if the truth ever came out. And without Daniel - I looked down at his groggy drugged-out face on the pillow - without this man it would not have been stopped. One detective from a backwater city in Florida just wouldn t give up even after they took everything away from him. The heroes in my novels had nothing on him.



We ll cooperate fully as soon as Daniel s up to it. He shifted on the pillow and moaned slightly under his breath while I watched him closely. But for now I think you d better just leave him alone until he feels better.



Jensen opened his mouth and started to protest and I knew exactly what he was going to say. He was in charge here not me. But I let go of Daniel s hand long enough to go over to the door holding it open while I stared at him. Finally he just shrugged let out a breath and left.



Ry?



I was at Daniel s side holding his hand in seconds my stomach clenching when I watched him struggling to open his eyes and focus on me through the pain and the drugs. I m here. Rest now rest.



Not leaving are you? Please stay.



I struggled not to let the tears form in my eyes. Loved him so much felt his pain but so fucking happy he was alive and here with me. I ll be right here Daniel I m not leaving. I ll stay as long you need me.



Need you always.



His fingers caught at mine and I held his hand tight as he drifted off. Always works I told him smiling through the tears I finally let fall.



*****





Chapter 32



I didn t want Rylan to be involved in anything dangerous but I didn t like the idea of leaving while he was asleep either. That was Scott s idea. Daniel looked over at me before he continued for the FBI video camera. Jensen was in the room along with the witness-debriefing specialist he d brought in to take Daniel s statement. A lawyer from the Tallahassee PD s Internal Affairs Division was flying in and would be here this afternoon to discuss the case with Daniel as soon as he felt up to it. Things had to proceed very carefully because so many active-duty police officers were involved. Scott convinced me it would be safer and faster if just the two of us went. Said we d just run out get the ammo box from the woods and run straight back. I didn t even need my gun.



I d been instructed not to speak while the camera was running so I bit my lip to keep from asking what the fuck he was thinking. I didn t have to say it anyway. Daniel s eyes staring into mine asking forgiveness told me he knew.



I had misgivings but I let him convince me. I don t know why I trusted him maybe because he was in my unit in the Gulf and I didn t want to believe on of my own men would betray me. I didn t think he was capable of it.



That was something I didn t know before. Daniel didn t talk about that time in his life. He d said Scott was Special Ops but not that he was under Daniel s command. I didn t even know Daniel had a command. Now that I knew their history I understood a little better why Daniel didn t question Scott s loyalty like I did. Daniel took the whole band of brothers thing seriously and he thought everyone else did too.



After Rylan fell asleep Scott and I made our plans. We left just before the sun came up. Alex loaned me his GPS cell phone so we could locate the coordinates of the ammo box. It was covered by snow so we had to search for it and then dig it up. We finally found it in a shallow culvert near the lake. We had just opened it to check the contents when I looked up and saw a Chicago city police officer walking up. I thought that was strange but when Scott didn t seem surprised to see him it all dawned on me.



I cringed. I almost didn t want to hear the rest of it.



I closed the ammo case back up. Scott was standing there smiling at me and of course then I knew why he talked me into leaving Rylan behind and not bringing my gun. I knew I was fucked then. That s when Adkins came around the bend in the path.



Did Detective Wyman say anything to you at this point? the witness expert asked. She was a nice motherly lady who told us to call her Leslie.



Yeah. He thanked me for helping him dig. Daniel attempted a laugh and cringed in pain. They d stopped the Demerol in his IV drip last night and he skipped the last dose of oral pain medication so he could be lucid enough to do this. I didn t like it one bit. It d only been forty-eight hours since the shooting. The intravenous antibiotics warded off infection and they were still monitoring his urine for signs of blood in case they d missed bone fragments that might cause him to clot elsewhere. It was a scary time and I d wanted them to wait but he insisted he could do it. When I asked him if he wanted to stop he shook his head impatiently. I m okay. I saw Adkins coming and I knew this time he was going to kill me.



How were you feeling then? Leslie asked in her soothing monotone.



Scared. I thought I was okay with dying but it turns out I m not. His lips twisted in a fleeting smile. Sweat began to mist his temples from the pain and the exertion of talking. I didn t have a gun and I knew I was about to die. I did what they tell you in the Academy and started talking. I asked Scott about his wife and kids how his sons would feel growing up knowing their father was a crooked cop how they would live if his death benefits got taken away. He got agitated and drew his weapon. The situation was very unstable. Adkins was coming closer now and I asked Scott if he thought Adkins was going to let him live knowing what he knew. I told Scott that neither one of us were going to walk away from this.



And what happened then?



Adkins laughed behind me and said I was right.



And what about the officer with him?



He had his weapon drawn but he didn t say anything. What happened to him anyway?



Scott shot him in the chest. He s in a coma I answered softly from where I sat right next to Daniel s bedside. He nodded drawing a breath from the pain. I winced. I hated this. Jensen watched from the other side of the room not saying a word.



Detective what happened after Adkins told you that you were right?



Scott started talking to him. Trying to bargain with him. Saying he got Adkins the evidence like he said he would and he wanted his money that they had a deal. He was screaming and yelling and waving his weapon around. Adkins told Scott it would be easier just to kill him and that was the plan all along anyway. Scott lost it then and fired his weapon. I don t think he hit anything and he started to run. The officer chased him and Scott fired another round and hit the other guy. He fell. Best I can remember Scott went to finish him off and the cop shot him from the ground at close range.



This long speech exhausted Daniel and he stopped and closed his eyes his breathing getting shallow under the hospital gown. I knew he was hurting and I asked Leslie if we could finish later. She said yes but Daniel shook his head weakly.



No I want to finish he said through pale lips. Arguing with him would ve just drawn it out more so I sat back unhappily and let him continue. The only reason I even got to be here was that I d already given my full statement in another room while Daniel slept.



I tried talking to Adkins. I knew he was going to kill me so I tried to keep him talking as long as I could asking him if he really thought he was going to get away with it did he really think he could just eliminate everyone in his way. He s a smart son of a bitch though. He knew what I was doing. Last thing I remember was him laughing at me and raising his weapon. I don t know what happened after that. Not until Rylan was talking to me and then I was getting into an ambulance. You came right before he shot me? Daniel looked at me now confusion in his eyes. And you wounded him in the side?

Yeah. I nodded. What else could I tell him? That I died inside when he fell to the ground? That I wasn t scared that I was completely dead calm that I was thinking of nothing but him and that s how I kept from falling apart until I was in the back of the squad car. That he soaked me with his blood but I didn t care that I didn t think of that fact until Kat said she was going to incinerate my clothes that I hadn t thought about it since because I was afraid of nothing that was in him because he was already part of me.



Weren t you close enough to kill him? Daniel asked. He seemed troubled. I thought of Ray and I knew that Daniel would ve shot to kill. All his insistence that it wasn t revenge it was justice but even through the pain the slightly distant fierce look in his eyes told me that if the moment had been his he would not have missed. The investigation wouldn t have mattered to him. He was too emotionally involved. I understood that. God how I understood it after I watched him crumple to the ground after I thought I d lost him the way he lost Ray. But in the end killing this one man this one link in the chain would not have brought him true closure.



Yeah I answered slowly.



From the window ledge Jensen stared at me. He knew exactly what happened in the moment I raised the gun because I told him and Leslie during my own statement. Daniel didn t remember what I d said while he was bleeding into the snow. It didn t matter that he didn t know. If I told him about it it would sound like I was trying to make myself seem like a braver and more noble person than I am. Let him think that I panicked. Just knowing that he would get the justice he wanted was enough for me.



I was close enough but I my hand was shaking and I missed.



Well fuck Daniel muttered under his breath while I avoided Jensen s eyes by getting up to straighten his pillows and give him a sip of water. He was starting to shift restlessly under the covers the pain making him tense and edgy and as far as I was concerned we were done here. He d done enough for one day. When I went to push the call button he didn t try to stop me this time he just leaned his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes in exhaustion.



Jennifer our favorite nurse came in and I held Daniel s hand while she ordered the two FBI agents and their video camera out of the room. She raised the hem of Daniel s hospital gown and shot a syringe of Demerol in his hip to get him out of pain so he didn t have to wait for the pills to work. I wanted to let him rest but when I started to get up he gripped my hand and wouldn t let go as the drugs took effect then his fingers loosened and his eyelids grew heavy. As he rolled his head back and drifted away I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek so that the last thing he felt was my touch and he knew I d never leave.



I did have to eat and sleep from time to time though. Kat had offered to come and pick me up but the other bed in Daniel s room was empty so I slept there last two nights. It was impossible to get decent sleep in a hospital unless you were on drugs and even then Daniel woke up every few hours writhing in pain. I d jumped right up each time to help him and call the nurse so I needless to say I was exhausted. His throat sore from the ventilator during surgery Daniel struggled to eat the tasteless breakfast on the tray with his left hand so I ended up feeding it to him and by the time we got a little food inside him the FBI was there. I realized in the elevator that I hadn t eaten since sometime yesterday when I had a stale granola bar from the vending machine. No wonder I felt like shit.



A ham sandwich in the cafeteria made me feel a little better. While I was eating I picked up a copy of the Sun Times someone had left of the table. Right on the front page there was an article about Scott Wyman under Kat s byline. She d been busy. I called her from a courtesy phone in the cafeteria before I headed up to Daniel s room. The shot had knocked him on his ass and he needed his rest.



I talked to your aunt. She and your uncle are on their way up here to see you. They should be here later this afternoon.



I groaned to myself Charlotte would be running around like a mad woman and driving me nuts but I was also relieved because I needed her right now. I needed someone to hold me up to tell me it was okay. Do they know they won t be able to see Daniel if they come to the hospital?



I told them all about that yeah. Also told them their car is still being held in the investigation. They re bringing you your car and they might stay here a couple of days until things settle down. Figure you could use the support.



Yeah. Out of nowhere tears pricked the corners of my eyes and I realized just how fucking exhausted and emotionally drained I was. Fuck I d shot someone yesterday. Or was it the day before? I didn t even know anymore. Actually shot him. Could ve fucking killed him. And Daniel almost died. He could be dead right now if I d slept just ten minutes longer he d be dead. My hands started to tremble and I forced the hysterical note out of my voice. I m tired Kat.



I know you are baby. Listen I ll come and pick you up in a few hours and get you out of that hospital for awhile okay?



Okay... yeah.... but I can t just leave Daniel here alone I protested. Not while he s hurting like this. You should have heard him in the night Kat he was in so much pain.



You don t have to leave him for the whole night she soothed me. I ll just come get you for a little while so you can see your aunt and uncle take a hot shower and relax for awhile. He ll probably be asleep anyway. Okay?



Her voice seemed to come through layers of cotton. My head was fuzzy and I couldn t make clear decisions. I felt helpless confused and unwound and I sagged against the wall closing my eyes.



Can I just call you later Kat? They won t let calls in but I can call out.



All right she answered doubtfully. You don t have to do this all by yourself you know. You won t be any good to Daniel if you fall apart on him now. He needs you to be strong and you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of him.



When I hung up I leaned against the wall and took deep breaths until I was back in control of myself. Yeah Kat was right. I was going to lie down in the other bed in Daniel s room and get some rest while he slept. They weren t going to keep him in the hospital much longer when they let him out he was going to need me and I had to be there for him. I knew he was confused that his family hadn t flown to Chicago to see him or even called. Jensen told me he d spoken to Daniel s mother and the story was all over the media there was no way his family didn t know he d been shot and he was in the hospital. My family was making the trip so where the fuck were his? The fucking Internal Affairs lawyer was on the way and his own mother and siblings were where?



****





Chapter 33



When I got back up to the room the armed guard was in his chair next to the door but I noticed the door was open and I heard quiet voices inside the room. I frowned. Who s that? I asked the bored guard. He didn t even look up from the video game on his cell phone screen.



Jensen called and put them on the list.



Them? I was expecting the legal representative from IAD but I thought it would only be one person and I knew there was no way Jensen would have put Paul and Charlotte on the list. Worried now I rushed into the room.



The shades were drawn just as I d left them and Daniel was still sleeping but a man with dark hair was sitting on the edge of his bed gently holding his hand with another man standing behind him. Cops. I was getting used to cops and they both had the look the lean muscular body and the air of self-assurance that they all seemed to have the quick movements and hard eyes. They both looked at me into me as I came into the room and I forced myself not to feel like I was intruding. I had every right to be here.



Rylan? asked the man who was standing up. He gave me a smile but the cop sitting on the bed next to Daniel just flicked his eyes over me before turning back and stroking Daniel s jaw. Neither one of them gave off a very friendly vibe the smile notwithstanding but they were cops and cops never trust anyone. Clearly these were Daniel s friends and they only had good intentions to protect Daniel just like I did.



Yeah. I nodded and stood my ground. I tried not to wonder if the guy gazing into Daniel s sleeping face and touching him and holding his hand was someone more than just a friend. Christ maybe he had a boyfriend he never told me about and that would just fucking kill me but I couldn t let them intimidate me or make me run away.



It s good to meet you Rylan I m Gray Mitchell and this is my boyfriend Michael Perez. We re good friends of Danny s.



Boyfriend well that was good. Relieved I shook hands with them both. Gray seemed a bit friendlier and even a little embarrassed by his partner s standoffish behavior. He was a few years older early forties probably with the stern police-issue buzz cut and stout neck hazel eyes and a nice smile while Michael was slender dark and boyishly handsome.



So how s his shoulder? One of the IAD people told us what happened but she didn t know the extent of the injuries.



Quietly so I wouldn t wake Daniel I explained what the doctor told us the day of his surgery leaving out the part about not being able to handle a weapon. It was Daniel s decision to tell people that not mine. The doctor hasn t been in today yet but if he s stable and doing well they might release him tomorrow.



We brought Danny some clothes and stuff Michael said. We ll spend the night.



Oh I said uncertainly. You don t have to do that. I ve been staying here I was planning on staying tonight too.



Michael looked over his shoulder at me and took a breath. He looked like he was about to argue with me but Gray cut him off.



That s fine. We can get a motel. Gray shot Michael a look he didn t think I saw. Something else was bothering me though. After checking to make sure Daniel hadn t stirred I motioned Gray over to the window. I didn t want him to hear if he happened to wake up.



Listen... what about his family? His calls are screened but they d put his mother through if she called and she hasn t. His family know what happened right?



They know. He nodded both resigned and vaguely disgusted. I talked to his mother myself last night. Told her the Department would pay for her to fly up but she opted not to. Daniel s sister is having a baby and she didn t want to leave... which is bullshit in my opinion but my opinion doesn t matter here. His family is... well. They re just like that. He shrugged. So Michael and I came instead. Hey how about you? You okay?



Yeah... a little tired but fine. Thanks. I actually managed a smile at him and then we both turned around when we heard Michael s voice.



Hey there stud he was saying to Daniel who had opened his eyes blearily and was trying to focus on him frowning in confusion. The drugs made it hard for him to concentrate on what was going on around him.



Michael?



Yeah baby I m here and so is Gray. Michael leaned down and kissed Daniel on the forehead and Gray came up behind him and put his hand on his lover s shoulder smiling down at Daniel.



Where s Rylan?



It took a second for me to realize he d asked for me and then another second that I was frozen to the spot. Michael had tensed up. I didn t know what Michael s problem was but I didn t care. Daniel asked for me when he came out of surgery and when he woke up confused. Not Michael.



I m right here I said. I went to the foot of the bed where he could see me and he smiled groggily and rolled his head back. Daniel gave Michael s hand a little squeeze.



Glad you guys came he muttered.



So you finally went and got yourself shot Gray said. I appreciated him keeping things light because Daniel was still pretty out of it. Looks like we re gonna be busting dealers without you for awhile.



Yeah. Think my raids are pretty much over.



Good. That was my immediate reaction but I kept it to myself in this room full of vice cops. With the possibility of never regaining full use of his arm Daniel was facing a desk job and I was secretly happy about it. One bullet was enough. When I thought of him falling to the ground and bleeding into the snow ice-cold fingers dug into my spine. He shouldn t have to face that kind of danger again ever.



Fading in and out a bit Daniel forced his eyes open. Somebody call my mom and tell her not to come he mumbled. M kay...



Gray and I traded looks. Sure baby Gray said giving Daniel s leg a little squeeze under the blanket. I ll call her in just a few minutes.



We all watched as his head went to the side and he dozed off again. Gazing at him Michael began talking. Although he didn t bother to look at me I assumed he was talking to me.



There s gonna be a shit storm when he gets back to Tally. We re just vice we don t hear much about Danny s IAD stuff but there are going to be hearings and an investigation into the involvement of Captain Olmos.



He blew Daniel s IAD cover to Adkins. He was the one who set him up.



Michael stared surprised into looking directly at me. You re kidding.



No I m not.



He ll have to testify to all that during the internal hearings Gray said shaking his head. As well as in front of all the grand juries. Adkins will be going into federal court too and he ll have to be there. It s going to be a long process. We can t talk to the media but there are going to be reporters calling him and television cameras waiting when he comes home just to get a glimpse of him.



He can t do any of that now. He needs to rest... he can t even feed himself yet. I hadn t thought much about what was going to happen when they released Daniel but now I began to get distressed. I didn t want him to go back to that alone. He can t move his arm for six weeks. He s going to need someone to take care of him around the clock at first.



We re taking him home with us Michael stated. As soon as he can fly.



For a moment I didn t know what to say. It seemed like this had all been decided and I didn t get any input at all. These people didn t know me and they weren t going to give me an input unless I made them. They were Daniel s friends and they d known him a lot longer than I had but I d earned a little consideration. You know Daniel could come home with me. It s his decision of course but I work at home and both of you have to leave everyday. I d be around more in case he needed something and I already know how to dress his wounds when he needs his meds and all that.



But his family and all of his friends are in Florida. My suggestion didn t please Michael at all.



So s the press I reminded him. They won t be waiting at my house.



But how long do you think it would take for them to get there? His friends will take care of him. He ll be a lot better off with us.



Why don t you let him decide for himself he s right here. Daniel s sleepy voice startled us and we all came closer to him instantly stopping our discussion to listen to what he had to say. I felt a little ashamed of myself for trying to decide what was best for him like he was a child.



I m so glad you guys came... I know you ll be there for me but I don t think I can deal with everything right now. I just hurt too much and I can t do anything for myself. I just want to hide out at Rylan s place until things get a little easier for me. I don t want to be a burden on you guys.



But... Danny we can take care of you we can do all those things for you. Michael looked positively crushed. I knew something was going on here but whatever it was Gray didn t seem concerned about it so that meant I shouldn t be either. But still. Why is it okay for Rylan and not for us?



Daniel huffed a laugh that made him wince but his eyes still twinkled. I haven t fucked either one of you in the ass.



Instead of a paralyzing blush I managed just a minor one and for the first time Michael actually grinned. We were all glad that Daniel was showing a spark of his normal self. I knew how badly he wanted to get out of this fucking hospital and go home - to my home. It wasn t going to be the fun getaway we d talked about having when all this was over but it meant a lot to me that he would let me take care of him that way that he would trust me and choose me to help him through this.



The door opened and the nurses aide came in. Sponge bath time then whatever soft food Daniel could manage to swallow. I took this opportunity to call Kat and let Michael and Gray spend a little time with Daniel. When I left the room to meet her downstairs Michael got up.



I ll walk you to the elevator.



Um... okay. I didn t miss Gray s anxious look as Michael followed me out into the hallway. I had no doubt what he was planning to say and when we reached the waiting area he stopped me with a hand on my arm.



Listen I don t want us to get off on the wrong foot Rylan. I know what you ve done for Danny. It s in all the papers. You ve helped him out a lot when he needed a friend and hell you saved his life by showing up when you did and stopping Adkins from killing him. So thank you for that.



I nodded suspiciously waiting for him to get to the real point.



You re not a cop though and you don t know what our life is like. The dangers and the pressures are something only other police officers can understand... that s why relationships with civilians don t last they just don t get it. Especially not someone who writes romance novels. He touched my arm and gave me a smile edged with pity. I was so floored at his nerve that I was literally speechless. Not that there s anything wrong with that. It s just a different kind of life. I know you care for him so I just wanted to explain to you that he s vulnerable right now. He needs people around him who understand him.



He paused to see if what he was saying was having an effect on me. All I could do was stare at him in utter amazement.



He does need a safe place to heal right now... we could give him that but he wants to go with you and that s fine. He s grateful for what you ve done for him and he thinks he has feelings for you because he owes you something. But Daniel s one hell of a cop and eventually that s what he is going to come back to. That s what he needs. I just want you to know that and not be too hurt when it happens. It s nothing against you Rylan you seem like a nice guy but I m just saying Daniel isn t going to be content with your life and I d hate to see you try to hang on to him when you can t possibly understand who he really is. Ray might be gone but we know Daniel a lot better than you do. Michael gave me that overly understanding smile again and lightly squeezed my arm before he took a step back. Okay... I think we get each other now don t you? I ll see you later.



The elevator dinged and the doors sli